It’s been 6 months since I told my story.
It’s been 6 months since he took his life.
It’s been 6 months since that depression uprooted itself from my life.
It’s been 6 months of healing.
It’s been 6 months of growth and learning.
It’s been 6 months of freedom!
I had a revelation last night. I have not allowed myself to grieve over his death. I had put up the wall in my heart so that I could be the strong one for my family as they process everything that has happened. For them it was A LOT of devastating news at one time and they needed someone to be there for them and help them through it all. I wanted to be that person for them.
What he did to me was terrible, and for so long I wished bad things on him. In this process of healing I’ve grown to that point where I don’t wish that on him or anybody. Grace and mercy, love and forgiveness. If God can offer these things to me, then certainly they are offered to the person that did those horrible things to me.
I’ve learned that It’s okay for me to grieve his death. He was in my life for 31 years. There were some good times in my life with him, although at times I felt that what was done in the darkness always overshadowed the good times. So thankful there isn’t a manual for this process. I’ve learned a lot and grown tremendously in the past 6 months. I look forward to the next 6 months of healing, growth and learning…