There are times in my life when I hear a song and it just fits the situation that I am going through at the time.  I’m sure many of you go through the same thing.  I’m Going Free (Jailbreak) was that song for me after that week back in July.  Take a look at the lyrics:

I’m Going Free (Jailbreak) by Vertical Worship
Go on and speak against my borrowed innocence
The judge is my defense, I’m going free
Right when the gavel fell, I heard the freedom bell
Ring through the heart of hell, I’m going free
I’m going free

Glory, glory, hallelujah
You threw my shackles in the sea
Glory, glory, hallelujah
Jesus is my liberty
I’m going free

I won’t go back again, that’s just not who I am
Lord, I’m a brand new man, I’m going free
I’m on a narrow road, it’s paved with grace and hope
It’s gonna lead me home, I’m going free
I’m going free

I am free, I am free indeed
I am free, I am free indeed
We are free, free indeed
We are free, free indeed

Someday I’ll fly away on Your amazing grace
Your love is my jailbreak, I’m going free

This song, among others, got me through the hardest period of my life.  It speaks of my freedom, of my innocence, the bondage I was in, that God would be at my defense.  BUT! My God can do great things!

Story time…

The day after I got home from Florida I had slept in LATE, as I had not slept the previous night.   I woke that morning with the lyrics playing in my head.  I sent someone a text with an excerpt of the lyrics.  I told that person, I felt like God was telling me that my abuser was free.  He was free from his shackles, he was free from his own bondage.  He was on that narrow road of grace (the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings) and hope (a feeling of trust.)  Some may not believe this, but I do.  He asked for forgiveness right before he took his life.  The reassurance I felt that morning was the same feeling I had when I felt God tell me it was time to share my story.  It’s amazing how God uses different things to speak to you.

My personal feelings for my abuser before all of this unfolded were not Christian-like.  As I said in “Secrets”, I called him every name in the book when we found out he took his life.  In the time since, I have grown and have forgiven him for everything he has ever done to me.  Forgiveness is a very personal thing.  Some survivors will go their entire lives without ever forgiving their abusers.  But for me to even begin to heal, I had to forgive him.  Forgiveness helps break those chains of bondage.  Thirty years of bondage of my 30-something life was way too many.  Freedom was a new feeling for me.  Freedom is glorious!

And now for your listening pleasure…


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